I was in a similar position to you and over time I built up my own colour library based on my chosen readily available manufacturer (in my case Humbrol). Disclaimer: these are approximate matches and are heavily influenced by my perception and how I like my ships to look. Having said that, I hope they can help you.
Firstly, the decks. Wood decks would be stained to 20-B deck blue in 1945, so use the blue Pontos stickers. Secondly, deck blue itself was designed to match 5-N Navy Blue so freshly painted they should look the same. Any lightening would be purely due to fading or wear and is entirely up to you. Personally, I treat them as equivalent and use the same paint for both as a base coat, then weather as required.
So for me this project would only use two paint colours:
5-N and 20-B (deck blue) - Humbrol 104
5-H Haze Grey - Humbrol 128
Using a conversion chart I found online:
5-N and 20-B - Tamiya XF-17
5-H Haze Grey - Tamiya XF-53
Main thing to note about 5-H is that it should have a noticeable blue tint, some pictures show XF-53 looking a bit too neutral. Do not use matches for post-war or modern Haze Grey. This site has more details regarding the development of US paint in WWII:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_W ... tates_NavyFrom what you've said it sounds like my "matches" would make your model come out too dark for your liking but it's what I would do at least as a starting point before weathering. Note I don't subscribe to scale lightening and I generally like my models looking freshly painted and a bit vibrant.
Since I usually build waterline I can't help with hull color, I take the approach that red will do as long as it isn't so bright it could be mistaken for lipstick!
Hope that helps